What we treat
Grief & Bereavement Counseling in Natick, MA
Grief counseling at Aurora Counseling Associates is for clients who have lost someone (or something) that mattered and are trying to figure out what to do with what is left. We work with the full range of grief presentations: recent loss, long-ago loss that has surfaced, anticipatory grief during a loved one's illness, complicated grief that has not moved, and non-death losses that do not always get named as grief.
Recognizing it
Does this sound like you?
There is no schedule for this, whatever anyone has implied.
- Everyone has moved on to other topics and you are still in it.
- You are fine for days and then flattened by something small and stupid.
- You have been performing being alright, competently, for months.
- The relationship was complicated, so the grief is complicated, and that feels unspeakable.
- It has been long enough that you have started apologising for still being sad.
- You lost something that was not a person and have nowhere to put it.
Grief is not a disorder and this is not about getting over anyone. It is about not carrying it entirely alone, and about the specific parts that have got stuck.
What grief can look like
Grief is not on a schedule and it does not move through tidy stages. It can look like:
Acute grief in the weeks and months after a loss
disorientation, intense waves of feeling, difficulty with routine tasks, physical exhaustion, sleep disruption, appetite changes.
Grief that has settled in but not lifted
functioning on the outside, hollow on the inside, going through motions, unable to feel pleasure, irritable with people who do not understand.
Anniversary and milestone grief
the date approaches and the body remembers before the mind catches up. Birthdays, holidays, the date of the loss, the season in which it happened.
Anticipatory grief
the period before a loss, when someone you love is dying, when a beloved animal is at the end of life, when a chronic illness is taking what it will take.
Complicated grief
grief that has not moved over time and is interfering with daily life, often involving avoidance, persistent yearning, difficulty accepting the reality of the loss, intrusive thoughts.
Disenfranchised grief
loss the world around you does not recognize as legitimate. A miscarriage that no one talks about. The death of an estranged parent. The death of a pet whose meaning to you is not understood by people in your life. The end of a long relationship that was complicated.
Non-death loss is also grief
Some of the most important grief work we do is for losses that do not involve a death:
- Divorce, separation, the end of a long-term relationship
- Estrangement from a parent, child, or sibling
- Infertility and pregnancy loss
- Job loss and the loss of professional identity
- Loss of a beloved animal companion
- Loss of physical capacity due to illness, injury, or aging
- The loss of who you thought you would be
- The loss of a community, a home, a country
These deserve the same attention as bereavement after a death. We treat them that way.
How we approach grief at Aurora
Grief work is not about getting over the loss. The orientation is different from that: we work toward integration. The person or thing you lost becomes part of who you are going forward, rather than a wound you keep stepping around.
Space to feel what is present
Including the messy parts. Grief is rarely just sadness. There is often anger, guilt, relief, ambivalence, exhaustion. We hold all of that as legitimate.
Help with the secondary losses
A death or major loss often reorders your relationships, your daily life, your routines, your future plans. The work often includes practical sense-making.
Continuing bonds
Modern grief theory does not require severing the connection to who you lost. The work often involves figuring out how the relationship continues.
Attention to the body
Grief lives in the body. Sleep, appetite, energy, somatic symptoms, the heaviness in the chest. We do not ignore that.
Coordination with the rest of your support system
When friends, family, faith community, support groups, or pet loss communities are part of your healing, we are part of a larger system, not the only place you do this work.
What to expect
Sessions are 45 to 55 minutes, typically weekly to start, then often spacing out as the work progresses. Length of grief work varies widely. Some clients do focused work for a few months; some do longer-term work that includes anniversary periods and the secondary losses that show up over time.
There is no expectation that you arrive ready to talk. Some sessions are for talking. Some are for sitting with what is. We follow your pace.
Sessions are 45 to 55 minutes, typically weekly to start, then often spacing out as the work progresses.
Therapists at Aurora who work with grief
Grief work runs through many of our clinicians' practices. We will match you with the clinician whose population, modality, and pacing fit.
Insurance and rates
Self-pay is $200 to $250 per session. In-network with BCBS, Tufts (HMO/PPO/GIC), Tufts Health Direct, Harvard Pilgrim, Point32Health, Optum, UBH, Mass General Brigham Health Plan, and Health Plans Inc. Some clinicians also accept Aetna and UHC; we confirm coverage at intake. See rates and insurance for the current list. HSA, FSA, and out-of-network superbills available.
Who you would work with
Clinicians who offer Grief & Bereavement Counseling
Read how each person works before you reach out. If you are not sure who to ask for, we will help you choose.
Ruth Hanning, LMHC
Marcia Lowry, LMHC
Ben Levenson, MA
These clinicians list this as a specialty. Most of our team works with it in some form, so if you have someone in mind, ask and we will tell you whether the fit makes sense.
Questions
Common questions
How long does grief counseling take?
When is the right time to start?
Do I have to be religious to do grief work?
Will I forget the person I lost if I do grief work?
What about grief for a pet?
Can children come for grief counseling?
What about complicated grief?
Where to next
Related areas we work in
Get started
Ready when you are
If you are in the middle of a loss and need a place to bring it, request an appointment or call (508) 650-0991. We will help you find the right clinician for what you are carrying.